Turnabout Takeover
by madgirlmuahaha
Summary: It's been a few months since Phoenix's disbarment, and Maya has taken it upon herself to transform Nick's life into something useful-by yelling at him to get a job. She may be the Master of Kurain, but she's still Maya. Needless to say, chaos ensues. No shippings, other than friendship pairings between Nick and Maya, and Trucy and Maya.


At eight o' clock on a Saturday morning, the last thing that newly-unemployed Phoenix Wright expected was a violent banging coming from the other side of his apartment door. What he expected even less, however, was when the banging suddenly stopped and was replaced by the sound of a key entering the lock and opening the door.

"NIIIIICK! WAKE UP, YA LAZY BUM!"

From his position on the couch, the 'lazy bum' turned his head to meet the glaring eyes of the Master of Kurain.

"Good Morning, Maya. What brings you here?" He was so calm, so unperturbed.

It annoyed Maya.

Normally, he would've flipped out, and started to nag Maya about how she couldn't just barge in anytime she wanted, and she couldn't just decide to leave Kurain on a whim because of her new responsibilities, and she couldn't just yell at him and call him a lazy bum.

_Normally,_ Maya thought, pondering for a millisecond his calmness, _he wouldn't BE a lazy bum._

Phoenix again turned his attention to the news while Maya started to rant.

"Dude! NICK! I'm serious! You have to get a job! NOW! Listen, I have some cardboard, so all we need to do is-"

"No, Maya. I am NOT making a fake attorney's badge."

Maya pouted. "Aw, come _on!_ It's not like the court would actually notice…"

"You know that impersonating a lawyer is illegal, right?"

"Seriously?! You shouldn't give up doing what you love just because it's against the law."

"The whole reason why I'm like this right now is because I unwittingly broke the law. What would the court say if I intentionally broke the law?"

"…Touché."

"And anyway, I'm going to go job-hunting on Monday."

"NO!"

"Come again?"

"I'm going to kick you out of the house until you get a job!"

"Maya, I just said-"

"I don't care what you just said! If you don't take care of a problem now, then it will never get done!"

"Where did that bit of wisdom come from? Some sort of motivational quote-of-the-day calendar?"

"Actually, yes."

"Figures."

"Yup! Pearly gave it to me, because she doesn't want me to get too stressed-out, and she doesn't want me to procrastinate at getting stuff done, and she also doesn't want to see me fail at being the Master. You know, I put the 'pro' in 'procrastinate'. I can tell when procrastination is going on, because I do it so much. And let me tell you, Nick: YOU are PROCRASTINATING! So get OUT! And get a job!"

""Will you stop yelling? Trucy's still asleep in the other room."

"NO! I WILL NOT STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU GET YOUR LAZY BUTT A JOB! Oooh, Nick, this is fun! I feel like one of those crazy old ladies on TV who nag their husbands endlessly about getting their lazy butts out of the house and doing something useful! I should be an actress on TV. That would be so much fun, getting paid to yell at people! Maybe I could be the next "Steel Samurai" franchise hero! That would be sooo cool! Or… YOU! Acting's a job, right?"

"Maya, thanks for your support, but I don't really need it. I'm not a lawyer anymore: I don't need a legal assistant."

"Puh-LEEZE! I'm not your LEGAL assistant: I'm your assistant. That means I get stuff done, even if it's entirely irrelevant to law. Which means that I'm going to stay here and badger you endlessly until you cave in."

"I thought you were the Master of Kurain, too."

"I told everybody that I was going to a very important meeting in the city, and that the sake of Kurain's future is riding on it."

"Do you enjoy over-exaggerating things, or is it an unintentional quirk of yours?"

"I told Pearly I was going to visit you, and she agreed wholeheartedly that what I told everybody else was true. She won't tell a soul that I'm here, though: she got that look in her eye and had a 'fangirl moment' and promised that she wouldn't get in the way of me and my 'special someone'."

"She still calls me that?"

"Yup."

"Well, you're welcome to hang out and watch cartoons, but I don't think there's a whole lot you can do for me now."

"Challenge accepted."

"Wait, 'Challenge accepted'?!"

"NIIIIIIIICK! I'M NOT GOING TO STOP NAGGING YOU! GETAJOBGETAJOBGETAJOBGETAJOBJOBJOBJOBJOBJOBJOBJ-"

"Daddy?"

Both heads turned to see an eight-year-old little girl in a cherry red nightgown rubbing her eyes.

"-ob…"

"…Good Morning, Trucy. I hope we didn't disturb you," Phoenix greeted in a cadenced tone.

"…"

"…Daddy?"

"Yep?"

"Is she my new mommy?"

"Not exactly. Trucy, this is Maya Fey. She's my assistant."

"Pleased to meetcha, Trucy! Your dad has told me a lot about you already. So, you're a magician?"

"You're really loud."

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to get your daddy off of his lazy butt and go look for a job."

"Are you one of the 'clipboard people'? You don't look like one."

"Who are the clipboard people?"

"The clipboard people come look at our house and ask lots of questions, like "What is your criminal record," and "Mister, do you have a steady income," and "Do you honestly think that we would let a man like you adopt a child like her," and they say that daddy should really clean up his act unless he wants them to send me to a forest home or something."

"Oh _really?_ Nick, you didn't tell me about _that_."

"…Trucy, remember? We don't talk about the 'clipboard people' when we have company."

"I'm sorry, daddy. I just get worried. The clipboard people scare me. And they don't make sense, either. I'm the one with the act, not you, daddy! And my act is a very good one: I'm saving up to get Magic Panties! Then my act will be even better! And we have plenty of soap, so we don't need to clean anything. Daddy cleans the toilet all the time, especially when he's bored or stressed. I don't know why the clipboard people keep coming, though: I don't want to get sent to a forest home! I'll never survive in the wild! I'll have to take Mr. Hat apart for firewood, and I could never do that!"

"See Nick? You HAVE to get a job! So Trucy won't have to fight to survive in the Alaskan wilderness!"

"Yeah! Mommy's right!"

"My name's Maya, actually, but OK! Come on, Nick! Please?!"

"…Fine. I guess I could start seriously job-hunting."

"Yay! Did you hear that, Mommy? Daddy's getting a job!"

"I knew that nagging would wear him down eventually. I'll hang out with you, Truce, until your dad comes back."

"Fine. I'll see you guys later. Maya, take good care of Trucy, okay? Oh, and Trucy? Make sure Maya doesn't burn the building down or do anything reckless."

"Don't worry: I'll take good care of-HEY! I'M NOT THAT RECKLESS!...Most of the time, anyhow."

It was only about four seconds after he had shut the door behind him when Phoenix heard a crash and a giggle from inside the apartment.

"What have I done," he muttered to himself ominously.


End file.
